Contradicting.

Peikang (Kor) thought I am a very contradicting individual.
I always thought I am something and not at the same time. Like I say, I am everything good and not,all at the same time.
But to come off as someone as 'contradicting' is the first. I thought I was a weird mix but ok, that is the same as contradicting.

Despite my previous hate rants about Jason, I still agreed to go out for a late night movie with him. Only this time round, I didn't tell my parents it is him I would be going out with.
I don't want to confuse the whole issue any further for them. It was only yesterday that I confirmed for my mum that we broke up.

Jason asked in a way that I can't bear to reject or more like I do not feel anything wrong to go ahead.

I realised that with every time I got angry and I vented this out, the more detached I am from this ex-relationship.
At a point of time, it felt like after going through all these emotional messes, I do not wish to go through any of it anymore till I see someone worthy of it.
I do not want this relationship to back-track but of cos' I do not mean it as Jason & I would stop seeing each other. That is not the whole purpose of us breaking up in the first place.

I guess this is weird. Later, by meeting him, sitting besides him in the car & theater, it is no doubt gonna be awkward.

I tell myself that this is just a shot. Take it as I am single now and I am free to see anyone. Not necessarily date but just like going out casually. Of cos' there would be some friends who are off limits so guy-friends, please do not fret when I go out with you.
I won't paw on you. Hahaha.

Next time round, I get attached again. Be it Jason or whoever, I am gonna make sure this person is worthy and what I want.
Of cos' it isnt what I want only, also what he wants.

No more time wasting business.
25 years old is gonna be a change for me!